Pee-Wee’s XXX Adventure (2012)

Pee-Wee’s XXX Adventure (2012)

Directed by: B. Skow

Starring: Tommy Pistol, Capri Anderson, Evan Stone

Yep, this is the reason I watched Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, so I’d have some point of reference when I watched the porn parody of it. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “a porn parody of Pee-Wee? OH SWEET LORD ABOVE WHY?!” Well, you’re right. This film is an abomination unto good taste and is a marring blot on all the achievements of the human race itself. If you find yourself able to masturbate to this film, congratulations, you’re a serial killer.

Pee-Wee has a girlfriend named Dolly who is literally a blow-up doll which comes to life when he’s around, but only for him. He loves Dolly, and gets heartbroken when someone steals her. He goes on an adventure to several places where people are having sex to see if he can find his talking sex toy, and eventually finds her on the set of a porn film. Dolly convinces him that he should really be fucking the real girl who likes him (and who works at the sex show in the local porn shop), and they live happily ever after.

Yep, instead of a bike, Pee-Wee loses a sex toy which comes to life. And you know what the most horrifying thing is? The girl they made up to look like the actual blow-up doll they substitute her out for sometimes looks EXACTLY THE SAME. There is nothing right about that, not even a little bit. There are a couple funny bits in the film, mostly provided by Evan Stone, who plays eight or nine roles for some reason. I’ve tried to block most of the rest of this film out of my mind, but the other thing that really stands out is that Tommy Pistol, who plays Pee-Wee, has a big tattoo of Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force on his side, which always manages to be prominently displayed in the sex scenes. Why why why why why.

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