The Mighty Ducks (1992)

The Mighty Ducks (1992)

Directed by: Stephen Herek

Starring: Emilio Estevez, Joss Ackland, Lane Smith

Hey guys, what did you think about the NHL draft, huh? Just kidding! I know nothing about hockey because it’s boring. That’s why I watched all three Mighty Ducks movies in a row! Emilio Estevez really knows how to make hockey interesting… FINALLY!!

A high-profile lawyer gets arrested for driving under the influence and is sentenced to serve his community by being the coach for a pee-wee hockey team. This seems ridiculous, but remember that he’s rich and a lawyer. Anyway, the downside is that the team sucks, and Emilio doesn’t like losing, so he whips them into shape… and into his heart. Awww… wait, does that work? Whip the kids into his heart? That’s actually kinda terrible.

It’s a sports movie! WITH KIDS!! Of course it’s an hour and a half of pure, unfiltered pain. It’s really bad that I already have nothing to say about this shit, because I still get the pleasure of doing two more of these today. Fuck you, Mouse.

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