D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994)

D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994)

Directed by: Sam Weisman

Starring: Emilio Estevez, Kathryn Erbe, Michael Tucker

For some reason, the original Mighty Ducks was a huge hit. One can only chalk it up to a bizarre whim of fate, because thinking of any other explanation makes my eye twitch and my drinkin’ arm clench in frustration. So, they made another one. And another one. And a cartoon series. Jesus Christ.

So this time the mighty duck team aren’t just a bunch of kids playing shitty hockey just so they can have fun and develop team-building skills, they’re in the olympics!! The… kid… hockey olympics? I guess? Is that a thing? Anyway, because of this they add a cowboy and a girl (to cover all the ethnic bases) and they go on to have basically the same adventure as the first time only more boring.

No, seriously, since when is kid hockey an olympic event? I can barely believe that real hockey qualifies (or basketball, for that matter, since they are the same sport), much less this shit. Is there an olympics for kids? I remember back in middle school we had a “Cougar Olympics” (our school mascot was a cougar, it wasn’t… you’re gross for thinking that, what is wrong with you), but it’s not like any of us kids actually took it seriously and it was just a track and field day where everybody won a ribbon no matter how good they did.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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