Directed by: Stephen Norrington
Starring: Sean Connery, Stuart Townsend, Peta Wilson
Ah, the big dumb action movie loosely based off of the up-its-own-ass Alan Moore comic series. There’s nothing about that sentence I don’t like!!
In Victorian England, M gathers together a group of fictional heroes from the time to stop the Phantom of the Opera from destroying Venice and starting a World War. Alan Quatermain, Captain Nemo, the Invisible Man, Dr. Jekyll, Dorian Gray, a grown-up Tom Sawyer and the girl from Dracula join forces against a host of other literary references, and they all shoot at each other and say one-liners.
Seriously, I think every single line that Connery brogues out was written specifically to be included in the trailer. Everyone else has the same action movie cliche problem, but it’s not nearly as pronounced (AND POORLY PRONOUNCED BECAUSE HE HAS A DISTINCTIVE ACCENT GET IT) as the old Scot’s performance. I can’t really say enough about this movie, except that every time I try to bring up a point about why it was retarded just makes me laugh more. But hell, maybe that’s what they were going for. To make a movie so goofy, possibly specifically to make Alan Moore angry. I don’t know if it did, but it would be pretty funny to see that dude go all angry bear on Sean Connery.