Directed by: Jason Eisener
Starring: Rutger Hauer, Pasha Ebrahimi, Robb Wells
So this is a movie based off of a joke trailer in another movie? And they somehow got Rutger Hauer to star in it? Who the hell gave them three million dollars to make what is essentially a retarded horror movie? Probably Tarantino, huh. Dammit.
A hobo comes into a town that’s ruled by an evil gangster (played by… that guy from Lexx! Who knew he was in TWO things?!) and his sons who constantly murder people. When they threaten a prostitute that helped the hobo, he decides to buy a shotgun (instead of the lawnmower he was saving up for) and kill all the bad guys. I guess it was one of those video game shotguns with unlimited ammo or something.
This movie is terrible. It’s not even like they were trying to do a grindhouse sorta thing like the movies the trailer came from, it’s just goofy explosive violence for the sake of itself. Also the direction and cinematography are embarrassingly bad, where you can’t really tell if they were doing it on purpose or if they were actually just incompetent. The only reason to watch this movie was Hauer, who turns in a fantastic performance. I don’t even know how actors like that manage to keep their professionalism in the face of the rest of this awful garbage, but you gotta respect that ability.