Thomas Kinkade’s Christmas Cottage (2008)

Thomas Kinkade’s Christmas Cottage (2008)

Directed by: Michael Campus

Starring: Peter O’Toole, Jared Padalecki, Marcia Gay Harden

If you haven’t heard, collectable plate artist Thomas Kinkade died the other day, so to celebrate a couple friends and I watched this movie that he apparently produced about himself. Fittingly, it feels like some shitty movie made for the Hallmark Channel.

A young, shitty artist, Thomas Kinkade, returns to his folksy hometown for Christmas and attempts to learn from his elderly mentor (O’Toole) how to paint a mural in the middle of the town. A lot of nothing happens over the course of what I can only assume is a matter of months (as the seasons change at least twice), culminating in the church play being ruined by Kinkade’s paintings, but everyone appreciates his efforts anyway. Then Peter O’Toole tells him to “PAINT THE LIGHT!!” and he I guess becomes the greatest artist ever.

This movie feels really lazy, just all over. It’s set in the early 70’s, and a couple of the characters look like it, but they all drive cars from the 30’s, and the main character looks like he jumped out of a fashion catalog from modern times. Peter O’Toole is obviously just there for booze money, and phones it in so hard he even seems to refuse to speak while the main character is in the same room as him. Richard Moll and Chris Elliott are there as predictable comic relief, but still the thing that I’ll always remember about this movie is how Thomas Kinkade showed himself as being a talentless crybaby manchild. That was nearly enjoyable.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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