Directed by: Griff Furst
Starring: Kristy Swanson, D.B. Sweeney, Robert Davi
Okay, here’s my idea for a SyFy channel original movie: Paul, the middle-aged foreman of a box warehouse, is sad because his wife just died. When workers start mysteriously dying in the warehouse, a matronly (yet still moderately attractive) woman from the government comes to check it out. The two fall in love while setting a trap for the monster in the warehouse: BOX SHARK!!
The plot of Swamp Shark is… basically what I just wrote, but put in “swamp” instead of “box” and “warehouse”. Except I didn’t mention the evil sheriff who’s behind the whole thing, because really, that’s a given. Look, if I’m going to write movies for the SyFy channel, I’m not going to waste any effort on coming up with new ideas. That’s their motto, in fact.
Uh, this is a movie called Swamp Shark. It’s fucking retarded, what did you expect?