Directed by: Chad Ferrin
Starring: Timothy Muskatell, Ricardo Gray, Charlotte Marie
All right, I already fessed up to completely messing up my St. Patty’s movie plan, so I might as well say that I was saving this movie for Easter… but I forgot when it was this year. Also, I didn’t care enough to actually look it up, and neither of the people I asked knew/deigned to answer me, so I’m just gonna go ahead and assume that Easter was Thursday. I’m the best at holidays!
Let’s see… a retarded boy is threatened by his mother’s new boyfriend, who enjoys pointless threats, drugs, and prostitutes. He invites a pedophile/drug dealer friend of his over and trades little boy sex for some prescription drugs, then goes out and picks up a couple hookers. When he gets back, he finds that there are some dead people in the poorly-lit house, and more are appearing by the moment. Some wacko in an Easter Bunny mask is killing people in ways that you can barely see and which you never care about, and in the end it turns out to be the mom! Because she killed her ex-husband, but he’s not dead and is just horribly burned and now living on the street! This is actually an important plot point, or trust me, I would never mention it.
This movie wasn’t made by filmmakers, except in the strictest sense. The lighting is so bad it’s nearly impossible to ever see anything, nobody can act, and the murders (the only thing that actually matters in a slasher flick at the end) are boring. You know what was a way better awful holiday-themed cheap horror movie? ThanksKilling. WAY better.