Almighty Thor (2011)

Almighty Thor (2011)

Directed by: Christopher Ray

Starring: Cody Deal, Richard Grieco, Patricia Velasquez

It’s been a while since I’ve seen a movie by The Asylum, the worst production company still working today. In case you need reminding, their M.O. is to make movies with titles similar to those of big-budget movies out in theaters at the same time, so as to confuse stupid people into renting them. Obviously, Almighty Thor is the public domain Norse legend ripoff of the Marvel comics character film Thor, and as bad as that movie was, The Asylum goes above and beyond in just making the stupid shit possible. Yet again.

In Asgard (which is a park with a CGI castle in it), Odin (Kevin Nash) is killed by Loki (Grieco). Then (no parenthetical necessary) Thor decides to go after the man who dun killed his paw, but a Venezuelan Valkyrie takes him to Earth instead, where she teaches him how to use a gun. Loki is after Thor because he has the “hammer of invincibility” which Loki plans to use to start Ragnarok, so he… actually pretty easily cons him out of it. In the end, Loki is defeated because they can’t really let the bad guy win, and that’s basically the only reason.

So this movie is really extremely retarded. HOWEVER! Richard Grieco as Loki? Actually kinda good. At least, compared to Tom Hiddleston’s performance in Thor. There are parts where he’s actually kinda threatening, and he’s never a giant crying baby. So there’s the one good thing about Almighty Thor. Do not ever watch this movie, or you will get a stern letter in the mail from me that just contains the word “SHAME”.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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