The Descendants (2011)

The Descendants (2011)

Directed by: Alexander Payne

Starring: George Clooney, Shailene Woodley, Amara Miller

So, Clooney got an Oscar nomination for this film, which was directed and co-written by Alexander Payne, the same guy who co-wrote and directed About Schmidt, possibly the best movie made in the last ten years. I just mention that because I’m not sure if it’s just that Clooney isn’t a Nicholson-grade actor, of this just isn’t as good of a story (both are true), but… The Descendants was not a good movie. THE NAME DOESN’T EVEN MEAN ANYTHING.

George Clooney is a rich real-estate developer who lives in Hawaii and must deal with his wife being in a coma and his two daughters not understanding him. Most of the film is Clooney tracking down the man what fucked his lady (who is Matthew Lillard! He’s trying to be a real life actor now, apparently! How cute is that?) and his daughters helping him to deal with his emotions. It’s basically the most cookie-cutter drama you could ask for.

This movie is basically just an excuse for George Clooney to do some dramatic acting. A thing which, you would think, would not really be necessary. It’s… fuck, what else is there to even say about this movie? It’s a self-serving drama with all the twists and turns of a Three’s Company episode. Except it’s sad, instead of TV sexy. For some reason, the only emotion the Academy believes is valid is depression, and I can’t possibly tell you why. Personally, I think sadness and depression are the easiest emotions to express, but hey, I’m not some old faggot on an awards committee.


About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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