The Invincible Iron Man (2007)

The Invincible Iron Man (2007)

Directed by: Patrick Archibald, Jay Oliva

Starring: Marc Worden, Gwendoline Yeo, Fred Tatasciore

Okay, this straight-to-video animated film came out a year before the significantly better Robert Downey Jr. one, so you have to keep that in mind while watching it. The whole time I was just repeating to myself, “they didn’t know it could be good. There was just no way for them to know that they should try.”

Tony Stark, playboy inventor billionaire, gets captured by a Chinese gang who want to use his skills to resurrect an ancient evil called “The Mandarin”. Instead, he builds a robot suit out of junk and gets him and his friend Rhoadie out of there. They learn that there are magic rings and some magic robot things are after them, so Stark takes one of the other armored robot suits he has laying about (he made like, a hundred of them. Completely by coincidence) and goes out to fight them, before finally coming face-to-face with the Mandarin, which is a ghost tornado floating over a naked lady.

So yeah, this movie is retarded. But they didn’t know! In 2007, nobody knew or cared who Iron Man was, except nerds, and they’re going to buy the movie anyway, because nerds just looove bitching about continuity problems. Lord knows I do. They just wanted to make a thousand bucks, okay? And I’m sure they made at least half that.

About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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