The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

Directed by: Rod Amateau

Starring: Anthony Newley, Mackenzie Astin, Phil Fondacaro

This movie… holy shit, it’s horrifying. It’s like a living nightmare, wrapped up in an idiotic 80’s kids movie. I guess that’s what happens when you let Topps make a movie.

A kid who works at a magic store accidentally knocks over a garbage can, releasing disgusting and horrible mutant people from it, who help him get the girl he likes by sewing clothes so she can sell them out of the back of her car. It’s complicated, just try to keep up. However, the girl’s punk boyfriend and she are in it for the long con, and once they get all the designer clothes, they send the garbage pail kids to the Home for Ugly People. Can the magician and naive kid save their horrible, entirely unlikable monster friends from certain, god-appeasing death? Unfortunately, yes.

The puppets in this movie are horrifying, yes. But they’re actually pretty well made. It’s just the artistic design was… unfortunately true to the source material. Still, the devilish uncanny valley babies are only the frosting on the shit cake that is the incomprehensible plot of the movie to begin with. Somewhere between Troll 2 and Hobgoblins lies The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, a horrible wasteland where no good may exist.

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