Directed by: Rob Marshall
Starring: Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Ian McShane
Wait, they made a fourth movie in the Pirates of the Caribbean series? Can they do that? Doesn’t Movie Law dictate that you can only make movies in sets of threes? Disney, I’m putting you under Pointless Arrest!
Captain Jack Sparrow is back, and this time he’s out to find the Fountain of Youth before Blackbeard or Barbossa do. There’s all sorts of action/adventure type stuff, like people swinging on vines and sword fights in caves, and there’s a B-plot about a missionary falling in love with a mermaid.
There’s one definite thing you can say about On Stranger Tides, and that’s that it’s way fucking better than that awful At World’s End third film in the series. They ditched all the super-epic retarded cosmology stuff and structured the film like a standard adventure film, a little closer to the first film. Ian McShane is good as Blackbeard, but he’s pretty much always good, and that’s not much of a surprise. Penélope Cruz is… there, I guess, and Johnny Depp turns in his (by now) standard pirate performance. Easily the stand-out character in this film is Geoffrey Rush’s Barbossa, who is for some reason all old, and he has a peg leg now which doubles as a flask. I don’t know how they keep doing it, but Rush keeps being the most fun pirate to watch in these films. The B-plot was a decent replacement for Orlando Bloom (it was just about as boring, though)… Yeah, not a bad film. So long as they aren’t going to try and double trilogy this series, I think we could consider this not a failure.