X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Directed by: Brett Ratner

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen

Ah, the infamous third X-Men movie. I think the nerd world at large at least marginally enjoyed the mediocre first two films in the series, but this third one… it destroyed a lot of dreams. It was a harbinger of the end of the major superhero movie spike of the aughts, and combined with Spider-Man 3, it taught us all that nobody should ever, EVER make a trilogy of superhero movies again. Okay, it probably didn’t actually teach anyone anything, but those lessons are certainly there to see if someone wanted to find them.

A mutant who negates other mutant’s abilities is used to make a “cure” for mutantism, and all the mutants get all angry about it. A bunch of people die, but they’re replaced by other, equally forgettable characters. By the end, there’s a huge battle with about ten billion super peoples fighting the army and the Juggernaut says, “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!” because of the internet, and then Wolverine is like “BUB BUB BUB BUB BUB BUB” and Jean Gray is god now or something.

This movie is a goddamn mess, mostly because they tried to fit everybody’s favorite X-Men character in there and there are approximately 80 billion X-Men characters in the comic books. Even with fifty years of history to expound on all these people, it’s still too many for the comics, so why would they think it would work in movie form? If there’s one good thing to be said about this film, it’s that Kelsey Grammer is actually really good as the Beast. After the last time I saw this, I thought I was just clinging on to that as something to like about the film, but he actually does turn in a good performance. Not sure what they did to him to make him give a shit about X-Men 3, but there you have it.


About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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