Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)

Directed by: Gore Verbinski

Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley

This is the sequelest sequel in the history of film. It manages to hit every single bad cliche that a sequel can do, and then does it over and over again, until there’s basically nothing left of the film. Eh, whatever, Johnny Depp is a funny pirate man. Fine.

Davy Jones (the half-octopus pirate devil, not the guy from the Monkees) wants Jack Sparrow’s soul, so our main characters go on a quest to find Jones’ heart (which he keeps in a box somewhere) so they can kill him or something. Unfortunately, they fail, and the events in the third, awful movie happen instead. Too bad.

There are some neat special effects, and Bill Nighy turns in an entertaining performance as Davy Jones… look, it’s a sequel based off of an amusement park ride. It’s about as lowest common denominator as you can get. The fact that there’s anything even slightly neat about the film is surprising.

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