The Heist (1996)

The Heist (1996)

Directed by: Toni English

Starring: Julia Ann, Tony Tedeschi, Bobby Vitale

With a name like The Heist, I was expecting this to be a porn version of Ocean’s 11 or something like that. For some reason, I always seem to overestimate the complexity of porn movie plots. You’d think I’d know better, right?

Four people are setting up for their last big score, which involves the woman distracting two people by having sex with them while the other three just… walk in and take all the jewels and stuff. Huh. The jewels turn out to be fake, so they have to do one more last big score, which… is the same exact plan, except this time the other three guys also have sex.

Is it that easy? I mean, that kinda makes the guys in real heist movies seem like idiots. Just get a reasonably attractive woman and have her fuck her way through everybody while you pick up the loot. How did nobody else ever think of that?

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