Directed by: Mark Atkins
Starring: Simon Lloyd-Roberts, Joseph Stacey, Dylan Jones
Ah, The Asylum, we meet again… I’m not exactly sure which blockbuster this was supposed to be a ripoff of (maybe that stupid Dragon Wars: D-War movie?), but it’s up to their usual level of quality. Fucking… just the worst.
Merlin is a teenager, and he and evil merlin (I don’t remember his name, it isn’t important at all) are being trained by Jürgen Prochnow in the wizardly arts. Evil merlin kills the master to take his magic book, and then… dragons something something magic.
Really, once Prochnow died, I stopped paying attention. When the man who was in House of the Dead slurring out lines like “I don’ like no Captin Kirkjokes” is by and FAR the best actor in your movie, that’s when you know you need to fire your casting director. That’s all I’m saying about that.