Piranha (2010)

Piranha (2010)

Directed by: Alexandre Aja

Starring: Elisabeth Shue, Steven R. McQueen, Jessica Szohr

So… how the hell did this movie get into wide release? Don’t we have systems set up to cull all these identical “spring break gone awry” to the SyFy channel? Oh, wait, I got it. Out of the 18 different credited producers, I see the Weinstein brothers. Ugh.

Against all odds, a bunch of prehistoric piranhas tear through a spring break paradise and devour hundreds of scantily-clad co-eds. That’s the movie! Oh wait, one of them eats a penis. In 3D. That’s the movie!

The only thing separating this from every film with the word “shark” or “apocalypse” in it is the fact that they probably spent an extra 20 million dollars on it, and also the depressing cameos by Richard Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd. It’s even got Ving Rhames in it. In some states, it’s now illegal to make a slasher film with a significant budget without including that guy.

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