Midgets Vs. Mascots (2009)

Midgets Vs. Mascots (2009)

Directed by: Ron Carlson

Starring: Richard Howland, Akie Kotabe, Mark Hapka

Did you ever want to see a mix between Jackass and It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World? The answer, of course, is no. Nobody has ever wanted that. In fact, I’m convinced that the people who made this film didn’t even really want that, and that they’re all filled with hate and self-loathing. At least, they should be.

The “little person” who invented midget porn has apparently died, and to determine which of his kids gets his inheritance, they must have a series of retarded competitions, where one team is all midgets and the other is all mascots. Wacky hijinks ensue as they go through wacky events like “how many insults does it take to get punched in the face” and “wrestle an alligator”.

Everything about this movie is terrible. At no point is it funny in even the slightest, but I’m not really the target audience. My comic repertoire extends beyond bodily functions, for instance. There’s just nothing of value  here at all. None. Stop reading. Go do something else. So long as it isn’t watching this movie.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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