Directed by: Bob Clark
Starring: Chevy Chase, Jon Voight, Simon Rex
Yep, Karate Dog. This is a movie about a dog that talks… and does karate. And the dog is voiced by Chevy Chase. And it fights Jon Voight at the end in a karate fight. And Pat Morita was his karate master. You couldn’t have made a better film to go with the name Karate Dog.
So Pat Morita steals a vial of that ooze from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II and Jon Voight’s goons kill him to get it back. Only his dog knows what happened, and he’s been given permission to talk to “the man who seeks the truth”, which turns out to be the cop who’s on the case. This cop and this talking karate dog together uncover Voight’s evil plan to live forever.
What can I possibly say? It’s fucking Karate Dog, man! My brain just can’t get past repeating those words over and over again. Karate. Dog. A dog that does karate. And talks. Jesus Christ.