King Cole’s Party (1987)

King Cole’s Party (1987)

Directed by: Susan Shadburne

Starring: Gary Basey, Wendy Westerwelle, Zina Moreno

Just to be accurate, this short children’s film stars Gary Basey, not Gary Busey. Gary Busey as Old King Cole, that merry old soul, would be a completely different kind of film. A much more interesting kind.

You know all those short little rhymes and songs like “Little Bo Peep” and “Little Jack Horner” and “Mary Had a Little Lamb”? Well, that’s this movie. The entire thing is specifically constructed to fit in as many of these little songs as humanly possible, and there are, I dunno, ten thousand of these songs in the hour long video. The plot is that King Cole is having a party. That’s it. There are people who go to the party, or help prepare for it, but that’s as complicated as it gets.

Obviously this movie is for very, very tiny children. Like, if you had a baby the size of a matchbox, and it really liked listening to soothing happy sounding children’s songs, then you could just play this thing on repeat all day every day, and that would be the happiest itty bitty baby there ever was. Of course, you’d go insane and probably kill yourself, but you had a baby the size of a matchbox, your death probably wouldn’t be any great loss.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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