Mystery Kids (2000)

Mystery Kids (2000)

Directed by: Lynn Hamrick

Starring: Keith Allison, Christopher Allport, Jeannetta Arnette

Wow, what clue did those kids dig up that caused THAT reaction? All I can assume is that they found some sort of giant penis statue or chocolate mummy or something like that. Something really surprising, you know? You don’t see full-sized walking chocolate mummies all the time. Unless you eat the cereal which that character is no doubt a mascot for.

Two kids want to go to Hawaii for summer vacation, but they don’t have enough money! Also, they’re children! So just how are they going to earn all the money they need? By rescuing a missing girl, of course! They get involved in some retarded Home Alone shit with walkie talkies and catsuits and then they blow up the bridge the German’s need to keep their front lines supplied. Is that right? I think that’s right.

Yep, it’s another dumb kid movie where they do dumb kid movie stuff. I somehow picked out thirty of these things out of the 120 VHS tapes I got, apparently, and I’m fuckin’ sick of ’em. On the good side, I’m almost done with all those tapes! Just thirteen more!

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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