587: The Great Train Robbery (2000)

587: The Great Train Robbery (2000)

Directed by: Dan T. Hall

Starring: Ran Burns, Nicholas Abeel, Ariadne Baker-Dunn

I absolutely hate “feel-good” films. When it’s a movie that has no real conflict or purpose besides trying to fill me with some sort of warm, happy feeling, it makes me want to rip the head off of something. Maybe I’m a terrible person, I dunno.

An old locomotive engine is scheduled to be scrapped because they can’t spare the money to move it to some train museum that has agreed to take it. So the neighborhood kids enlist the help of a dirty old man who drove the train for thirty years and drive it to the train museum themselves.

They make a play at having the parents be concerned about the kids, and that’s supposed to be the conflict, but the dad of the main kid came up with the idea in the first place, and nothing bad ever happens to them, AND they know exactly what they’re doing and where they’re going. The only thing I’d be concerned about is the creepy old man who seems to think he’s playing a really deep character and who is constantly monologuing. I’d go so far as to call587: The Great Train Robbery as a waste of an hour and a half, rather than a real film.

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