Planet Patrol (1999)

Planet Patrol (1999)

Directed by: Russ Mazzolla

Starring: Peter Barent Lewis, Colin Campbell, Matt Corboy

This movie pisses me off for a couple reasons. Firstly, because most of it consists of pieces of previous Charles Band movies cut up and put in with the slightest amount of new footage to tie it together (The first half is Kraa! The Sea Monster and the second half is basically Robot Wars), and secondly because I EASILY RECOGNIZED TWO OTHER SHITTY MOVIES IN THIS SHITTY MOVIE. And that makes me feel bad about what I’ve done with my life.

There’s an evil Dr. Doom lookin’ alien fella who sends a big fish monster guy to Earth to attack it. Luckily, the Planet Patrol (four teenagers in outfits that would look cheap on a Power Ranger) is there to stop him, and also an Italian plant alien. After defeating Kraa, the group goes to another planet, where the bad guy has taken over a giant scorpion robot, and plans on using it to kill the people on that planet. The Planet Patrol find another giant robot and make ’em fight, and in the end they capture the bad guy.

This is just ridiculously cheap garbage. The first half of the film is ENTIRELY taken from Kraa!, like I said. Then they just re-used the robot scenes from Robot Wars and filmed new footage with the Planet Patrol characters to tie it in. All in all, this movie probably took them about a week to make, from inception to final cut. Charles Band, you cheap piece of shit.

About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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