Directed by: Reza Badiyi
Starring: Paolo Montalban, Daniel Bernhardt, Kristanna Loken
This is apparently the last two episodes of a Mortal Kombat TV show, called “Mortal Kombat: Conquest.” It was presented as a film, however, so I’m going to review it anyway. I mean, it’s the first movie I’ve seen with Daniel Bernhardt that wasn’t on MST3K where he kickboxes dinosaurs.
Okay, I never watched the show and I haven’t played a Mortal Kombat game since the Super Nintendo, so my knowledge of the backstory of these characters is pretty much zero. I know who Raiden is (because Christopher Lambert played him in the much better REAL movie) and I assume that all guys with painter’s masks on are Sub-Zero. Anyway, here’s what I gather happened: Some good guys are training to fight the bad guys, when they meet the thief lady character’s old friend, another thief lady, who inevitably betrays them. Then, in the second episo–er… half of the feature film, there’s a final confrontation between Raiden and Shere Khan or something, I think. They just stand and stare at each other in a huge dark room with wrestling mats, then they fight for about five seconds and it’s over.
I had no idea Mortal Kombat had such a complicated mythology behind it. I just felt woefully unprepared to deal with the information being given to me in this film… but that’s really the issue, isn’t it? It wasn’t a film at all, but episodes 21 and 22 of a 22 episode long series. So without seeing those first 20, there’s really no reason I SHOULD know what’s going on. So I guess I’m the one to blame here, for not having watched a Mortal Kombat-themed pro wrestling show.