Directed by: Joseph Merhi
Starring: Stephen Furst, Shonda Whipple, Joseph Campanella
Man… where to even start with this one? All right, let’s talk about Stephen Furst. Stephen Furst, an actor I have enjoyed in both Babylon 5 and Animal House. Stephen Furst… is the worst goddamn fat comedic relief I have ever seen in my life. I hate him now, with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. And he dresses up like a CLOWN in this movie. A CLOWN!!
Furst is a failing Hollywood producer who tries to impress his niece and nephew when they come to stay with him for a summer, but apparently it takes more than booking clowns for birthday parties to do so. Also, he’s in deep to the mob or something, but luckily the boy is a kung fu expert and he beats the shit out of them. In the end, his reward is to meet his idol: Don “The Dragon” Wilson.
Wait, are you fucking serious?! DON “THE DRAGON” WILSON is some kid’s idol, and he’s in this movie as himself?! This is seriously amazing. They had to have made this movie specifically for me, somehow. Just the concept of someone actually idolizing the guy is hard to come to terms with, let alone a whole character based around that concept. And he’s TERRIBLE in this movie, just like he always is. This is definitely a film that I would have regretted not seeing… you know, if I hadn’t seen it. But… still knew about it, somehow. Look, never mind, that was a dumb thing to say.