Boa (2001)

Boa (2001)

Directed by: Phillip J. Roth

Starring: Dean Cain, Elizabeth Lackey, Mark Sheppard

Alright, who would win, Superman or a giant snake? Keep in mind that this is the TV Dean Cain Superman so he doesn’t really ever use his powers, and also the snake is never shown because the effects are so bad they’d make your eyes bleed. Who would win? I dunno, probably still Superman, I guess. I dunno, I like Marvel comics.

Some guys made the worlds most maximumest security prison in Antarctica, about 40 miles from the south pole. Now, before you start telling me that that’s impossible… I know. You just have to go with it. Also, while making this prison, they find a huge egg which has a giant prehistoric snake in it. In Antarctica. To get rid of the snake, they call in Dean Cain and his wife, both of which are paleontologists specializing in prehistoric snakes.

This is a stupid movie, but it’s surprisingly easy to suspend disbelief while watching it. The trick is to realize that the setup is completely pointless, and that it’s just like every other “monster in a cramped place” movie, of which I’m pretty sure there are millions. And they’re all the same. Stop remaking Alien if the best you can come up with is Dean Cain fighting a block of pixels that you just pretend is a snake.